ART THOU BORED? Lazy days of summer getting you down? We have the solution to your early August funk. All you need is a BRONCO!
No, not the superdope, high-demand restyled Ford.
OUR BRONCO!!! One that POOPS!
Now, we only have one of these Broncos. Drag, right? But WE ALSO HAVE A SOLUTION!!!
Now YOU can construct your very own BRONCO!
To Build your own Bronco, you will need:
FOUR (4) Long, hairy, spring loaded puppy legs (shower curtain rods rolled in lint will suffice)
ONE (1) Body piece built for consuming various native grasses and foamy shoes
TWO (2) Doctor Emmet Brown eyebrows- ***extra*** bushy
ONE (1) prepubescent ZZ Top Beard
TWO (2) retired NASA satellite dishes for ears
TWENTY-EIGHT (28) Chicklets, sharpened to points
Assemble parts as shown, and VIOILA! This little dude is SURE to keep you on your toes. Or bite them when you’re in really deep thoughts. GET OUTTA THEM THOUGHTS. It’s simply not possible to have a bad day with BRONCO! Our newest, wire-hairiest, most ideal candidate for a doggie DNA test hails from the ***finest*** doggie dumping ground in Oklahoma. At just 16 weeks of age, he has so much life to share with you. Don’t be fooled just because he was one person’s trash. This little pup is an absolute TREASURE chest of spontaneous puppy combustion. He RELISHES a doggy playmate. Kitties are pointy and scary but OK, spose. And talk about the ideal dude for agility courses- Bronco is SO smart and learns from his people SO fast, he’ll be mastering anything you dare teach him in no time. He’s a snuggler that wants to be close to the person who will not only be patient enough to teach him how to be the best version of himself, but also NEVER LEAVE HIM at the U-Pull-It AGAIN. This Bronco comes fully serviced- neutered, fully vaccinated, AND microchipped. AND HE’S HOUSEBROKEN.
End those summer bummers! Get yourself a BRONCO! One that won’t lead you on a highly televised low-speed chase- this little guy can REALLY lay the pedal down. He can be YOURS by applying today!